Feeling Out of Shape?

I was scrolling through my Twitter feed last night looking for inspiration for a blog post when a Washington Post headline caught my eye.

Feeling out of shape and fat? Here’s how to fix that: Start walking.

I retweeted the article, which you can read for yourself here. Without reading it, I wrote, “Once again, I’m doomed. #wheelchairproblems”

Feeling a bit guilty for retweeting an article I hadn’t actually read (something I never do) I went back and clicked on the article. Maybe they discussed alternatives for people, like me, who are not able to walk. Perhaps they were inclusive of people of all abilities and I was being hasty in yelling at my monitor about the ableist headline.

I read the article, which describes EverWalk as, “an initiative that aims to get Americans on their feet. Anybody can commit to walking at least three times a week by signing a pledge on EverWalk’s website (at everwalk.com).”

There WAS one mention of disability towards the end of the article. “If you’re in a chair, pledge to do the roll.”  That may work for someone who uses a manual wheelchair, but what about someone like me who is no longer able to self-propel a manual chair?

Getting frustrated, I searched the EverWalk website and found lots of photos and encouraging images of people walking. I did not see anyone with an obvious disability. I did not see anyone who looks like me.

So, I did what I have never done. I took to Twitter. I responded to the article tweet, and directly tweeted EverWalk with my main question. What about those of us who care about health and fitness but can’t “just walk?” As of the time I finished writing this Sunday night, I have not heard any response and I really don’t expect to.

I applaud Diana Nyad and Bonnie Stoll, the founders of EverWalk, for wanting to do something to help heart disease and diabetes, diseases which can be caused by our nation’s sedentary lifestyle. However, I wish their program were more inclusive of people of all abilities. If the premise is for people to “move more,” then why not include disabled people moving in the images on the website?

When the United States Surgeon General launched the “Step It Up!” campaign, the report and accompanying images included people with visible disabilities. This important inclusion meant I was less inclined to react with disdain and sarcasm when I viewed the promotional video which had images of people who looked like me.

Sure, physical activity is important for health. Most people are able to walk, and encouraging walking makes sense because it is an activity which does not require expensive equipment.

But not all of us can walk.

We care about our health and fitness too. Yet, when you leave us out of your campaigns, you send us the message that we can’t be successful in our fitness goals. You tell us we don’t matter.

That message really gets me out of shape.

Before You Go…

Most young people don’t think about their own mortality. I can’t quote any scientific research to support my theory but my informal observations lead me to believe many people wait until a major life event (marriage, birth of a child, serious illness) or an emergency situation to have difficult discussions about disability or death.

I learned at a young age how important it is to make your end of life wishes known to your loved ones BEFORE you are facing imminent death. Having spent the first decade of my professional life working in nursing homes, I regularly interacted with people who had not had prior conversations about end of life care for mom, dad or themselves. I wrote my first advanced directives at age twenty-four. I completed a health care proxy the following year, and advocated for my parents and those I love to complete their own paperwork.

My aging parents are still living in the house they have owned for more than fifty years. Twelve years ago my five sisters and I honored them by coordinating a surprise 50th wedding anniversary party. There were many heated discussions and emails between the six of us about the menu and dessert list for this wonderful party. After the event, I handed my parents the health care proxy forms and told them I would prefer not to argue with my sisters about something other than a menu. I may have said something snippy, along the lines of, “I don’t care who you pick, but you must pick someone to act as your proxy in case something ever happens to you.” Two years later, when they were both injured in a car crash, we knew their wishes because we had those difficult discussions.

Making your medical wishes known is important, but how many of you have given any thought to what happens to your digital life after your physical life ends? Do you have a file of all your online or social media accounts and your passwords? Do you use a password manager to remember all your passwords so you don’t have to?

I will admit I have given very little thought to this but Thursday I read an article in my local paper describing how you can now appoint someone to manage your Facebook account when you die. I don’t know that I want my Facebook account – or any other account – to be maintained after I die. I have friends who have passed away and someone (friends? family?) must be managing their accounts because several of them are still out there in the virtual world. Should you want to explore your Facebook options, go to your “Security” page under “Settings” and look down at the bottom options for Legacy Contact. You can select to have your account automatically deleted after your death, or you can memorialize your account. Facebook describes memorialized accounts as “…a place for friends and family to gather and share memories after a person has passed away.”

At this point in my life, I think I want my social media presence to end when my life here on earth ends. My Facebook account is mine and I don’t think I want anyone close to me to have to face the burden of managing my page when I am no longer alive to manage it myself. But I can understand how sharing memories or tributes might be helpful to those coping with loss. Funeral parlors and newspaper obituary columns have been offering “legacy pages” for years on their websites. When my sister and brother-in-law died, the messages from friends, relatives, colleagues and former students were moving and heartfelt.

Since I read the article, I spent some time making notes and discovered between work and personal life, I have over twenty online accounts: Facebook; Twitter; LinkedIn; WordPress; SurveyMonkey; MailChimp; Amazon; Basecamp and many more! I knew I had a digital footprint but I never realized how big it was or thought about what would happen should I no longer be around to manage it.

So, I will be spending time this weekend updating my information, learning about password managers, and contacting those who have agreed to act on my behalf should I become incapacitated. They did well two years ago during a health crisis, and I’m confident they will manage my virtual legacy just as competently.